'I struggle to trust people': How trauma shaped Springbok star Nadine Roos

Nadine Roos does not remember the most traumatic moment of her life, but the consequences of it have stayed with her for more than two decades.

When she was just three years old her mother abandoned her at pre-school without a word of warning. Were it not for the intervention of her grandmother who subsequently raised her, Roos would have been swallowed up by South Africa’s welfare system.

“I was too young to really understand what was going on at the time but that moment has definitely impacted me,” says the 28-year-old Springboks fly-half.

“I still struggle to trust people. I find it difficult getting too close to people. I keep my circle very small. It can be hard. I’ve definitely not had a difficult life. I’ve had an amazing life. But ya, I suppose you can say it had an impact.”

Sport proved to be an outlet for any lingering frustrations. A naturally gifted athlete and a fierce competitor, she shone on the netball court, the athletics track and in the CrossFit gym.

Rugby, though, was a source of love.

“Growing up on my grandmother’s farm, rugby was this thing that brought us all together,” she recalls. “We’d all get a braai going, I’d play with the boys and the game was just this way to make me feel part of a family.

"Whenever the Springboks were on we’d all share the gees [Afrikaans for spirit]. When I’d see one of the players do something on the field I couldn’t wait to go and try it in the garden.

“Growing up with that love and passion for rugby, even before I knew that there was women’s rugby in South Africa, helped me deal with a lot of things in my life. Representing my country, realising my dream, it’s been just incredible.

"I now feel a responsibility to be an icon for other young girls. Being raised by my grandmother, I try every day to hold the values she taught me.”

Which is why a shift to fly-half carries an added layer of intrigue. As Roos says, “When you play in that position you’re the leader, you’re steering the ship."

Not only must she find her feet in a new role but she must also shed some long-held emotional baggage.

This was not an issue when she embarked on her international rugby journey. Originally a speedy sevens player who racked up over 40 appearances for South Africa from 2016, she made the transition to union in 2021 in time for the delayed World Cup a year later.

She began on the wing and then transitioned to full-back which became her preferred position. Her quick feet and powerful boot meant she was a natural in the back-field.

“I think I was doing really well there,” she adds. “I never considered ever moving from 15.”

That is until Swys de Bruin was appointed as head coach in August this year. The former Springboks men’s assistant coach, who earned a reputation for the attacking ethos that was so successful with the Lions franchise in Johannesburg, identified latent attributes in Roos’ game.

“I remember getting on the team bus to go to a training session and he asked me if I’d ever played scrum-half before,” Roos recounts. “I said no. He then asked if I’d ever played fly-half. I said no again. He asked me why. I just laughed and said that I didn’t know. I’m not a coach.

“So at the end of the training session he pulled me into fly-half and gave me a few instructions. I really enjoyed it. I liked putting people into space and finding space myself. I don’t normally like to kick possession away but I found the tactical side of things interesting.

“I’m super detail oriented anyway. Sometimes I can think too much and it can take over my game. But I like to look at how we can punish teams on attack, where we can find the space. I like to play the game in my head. I like to picture what the game looks like in the third or fourth phase.

"So, the added responsibility is something I've enjoyed. Even so, I was surprised when I saw my name on the team sheet for the Barbarians game [which the Boks won 59-17 last month] and my name had a 10 next to it.”

She’d clearly done enough to impress her new coach. She started at fly-half in the opening fixture of WXV 2 against Japan and will do so again this Saturday when South Africa host Australia in Cape Town.

Last week’s 31-24 win against the Sakura 15s, which saw the side defend their line on multiple occasions late in the second half, ended with South Africa climbing one position on World Rugby’s rankings into 11th.

Victory over Australia, placed seventh on the governing body’s metrics, would constitute the greatest result in the Springboks’ truncated history. According to Roos, though, there are bigger priorities at stake.

“We’d love to win,” she says, “of course we would, but that would just be a bonus. We’re building towards the World Cup next year. Everything we’re doing is focused on the World Cup. We’ve got a new coaching group and it’s taking time to understand exactly what they want.

“If we don’t win in the WXV it’s not the end of the world. Of course we want to win because that will boost our confidence and prove we’re moving forward, but we know there’s a bigger picture.

"We know that if we get a few things right between now and the World Cup we can cause a few shocks. To be able to play at fly-half, and to step up as a leader over the next year, would just be amazing.”