'I never heard from Gatland... It kills me to this day'

Former Ireland fly-half Johnny Sexton says he yearns for an explanation from Warren Gatland as to why exactly he was left out of the 2021 British & Irish Lions tour to South Africa.

Despite Sexton's excellent turn in the Guinness Six Nations that year, Lions head coach Gatland plumped for Owen Farrell, Dan Biggar and Finn Russell as his first-choice selection at ten.

It's a decision that still haunts the Irish man, who has written about the drama in his new book - Obsessed: The Autobiography of Johnny Sexton. Extracts from the book have been published in this weekend's Sunday Times.

"We’d never had a very close relationship, but I was convinced he would bring me, based on the fact that we had been successful on previous tours. Gatland has always said that Six Nations form was his main selection guide and I had finished the Six Nations strongly. Our performance in the final game, when we gave England a 32–18 spanking in the Aviva, was a turning point for the team.

"I’d set a few personal targets to achieve before the end of my contract: to reach 100 caps, to captain Ireland to a grand slam and Leinster to another double. I also craved a third Lions tour. There’s an exclusive club of players who have played in three or more Test series for the Lions and I desperately wanted to be in it.

"Competition was tight, I’ll admit. I expected that Gats would go with Owen Farrell and Dan Biggar, players who had delivered for him before. Quality players and proven winners. Finn Russell was the darling of the media during that year’s Six Nations but he didn’t look like a Gatland player to me. I reckoned that if Gats chose three out-halves and if he was true to his ideals, I was in."

Sexton suffered a second concussion in a Champions Cup quarter-final against Exeter in April. Despite treatment from a concussion expert and regaining fitness for Leinster’s semi-final, Sexton informed the Lions' medical team of his readiness for the Champions Cup final, should Leinster make it.

British and Irish Lions rugby coach Warren Gatland (L) speaks with Jonathon Sexton (R) during the captain's run in Perth on June 4, 2013.  (Photo credit should read GREG WOOD/AFP via Getty Images)

"...the rational part of me said that Gats would still be guided by my form in the last three rounds of the Six Nations and what I’d achieved for the Lions in 2013 and 2017. When I saw the squad, it felt like he’d been guided by someone else. Eight Scots in the squad? Based on what? Fourth in the Six Nations, with a win in Paris on the final day, when France handed them the result by chasing a bonus point when the game was over.

"I never heard from Gats. He wasn’t obliged to call me, of course. I didn’t expect a call. Being picked for the Lions is an honour, a privilege and not something you should ever think you are guaranteed. I still get the occasional urge to call him and find out, off the record, exactly what was said in the selection meeting. You’d probably think I’d be over it by now. It kills me to this day.

"His official line was that he didn’t think I’d last the rigours of a series against the Springboks. I heard another rumour that the Lions had been told I was too much of an insurance risk, that there was a danger that they would be liable for an expensive payout if I got another head injury while on tour. Whatever. I didn’t pay attention to the rumours. I wasn’t selected, end of story."

Sexton remained fit during the 2021 Rainbow Cup but didn't participate, as Leinster coach Leo Cullen used the tournament for player development. Sexton later regretted this decision when he learned that Russell had injured his Achilles early in the Lions tour, as staying active might have improved his chances of being called up to replace the Scot.

"Faz was soon in touch to see if I’d heard anything from Gats. A few former Lions team-mates also texted from South Africa to check if I was on my way out. I was in a corporate box at Lord’s Cricket Ground, watching England play Pakistan, when I saw the news that Marcus Smith had received the call. Two more beers, please, barman.

"People say I was lucky. They say it was the worst Lions tour ever, that the players were imprisoned in their hotel by Covid restrictions, and they lost a boring Test series 2–1 in empty stadia. I supposedly dodged a bullet. I don’t buy that. I reckon the Boks were there for the taking and if the Lions had won the series, that’s the only thing people would remember. I would have given anything to be out there."

Obsessed, The Autobiography by Johnny Sexton is published by Penguin, Sandycove on the 10th Oct at £20/€25. Available to pre-order now