Super Rugby Power Rankings: More heart than an 80s mixtape

Scotty Stevenson loved what he saw in the Highlanders destruction of the Force... but was it enough to bump them up this week's power rankings?

1. Crusaders (N/C)

The Crusaders defeated the Chiefs with a second half rally in Suva. This has become the calling card of the Crusaders against their New Zealand rivals this season, and other teams need to figure out how to limit the damage inflicted by Scott Robertson’s dynamic bench if they hope to topple the only unbeaten side in the competition. Many are writing them up as champions-in-waiting and they deserve the praise. Caution is urged, however. Some conservative decisions are creeping back in here, and they need to keep going for the jugular if they want to return to title town.

2. Hurricanes (N/C)

Pretty much every rugby fan in the world thought the Hurricanes would destroy the Cheetahs with a bounce-back performance at the ‘Tin. They did that, and in some style. Didn’t miss a beat with Barrett at the back and Black in the pivot role. That will please the coaching staff no end. The Hurricanes continue to look like the best team in the competition when they attack. Because they are. The decision-making in the forwards will be key from here on in.

3. Lions (N/C)

Quite why everyone has their knickers in a twist about the Lions’ path the finals in beyond me. They were grand finalists last year after defeating four of the five New Zealand sides, and they have changed nothing in terms of their willingness to run the ball. You would have backed this team to take a couple of kiwi scalps had the draw been different. Kiwi myopia should not distract from the fact this team is capable of beating any team from any country.

4. Chiefs (N/C)

But for several glitches in the set piece, the Chiefs could have been the kings of Suva again last weekend. Getting ruffled is not in the Chiefs make-up, and they will be shaking their heads over the two late lineout fluffs that robbed them of a chance to score a match-levelling try against the Crusaders. Losing two mid-fielders to head knocks didn’t help their cause. They will believe they are still very much championship material this year.

5. Highlanders (N/C)

Holy shit this team has more heart than an 80’s mix tape. Most conservative pundits picked a tough tussle against the Force following some frankly freakish wins in South Africa. Instead the Landers flogged them like a dud racehorse. The Highlanders have gone from posting the second-lowest average score per game after round four, to the fourth-highest average score per game after round 13. And they’ve won eight straight.

6. Sharks (up 2)

Made a competition-high 800 running metres last weekend against the Sunwolves, which bodes well for the Sharks on their run home. They will take the African wild card spot and if they can hold the ball they could well upset the Lions at the end of the round-robin. In fairness the Moondogs approached defence as if it were an optional extra but we’ll focus on the Sharks finishing the job, which they have failed to do very much this season.

7. Blues (down 1)

Robbed.

8. Stormers (up 1)

Lucky.

9. Waratahs (up 2)

Despite trailing the Brumbies on the points table, I get the feeling they could still wind up Australian conference champions after putting away the Rebels late last weekend. Michael Hooper’s captaincy was to the fore in the round 13 victory. He really is the everything to that team at the moment, and his players responded when he needed them to.

10. Kings (down 3)

The bandwagon hit a Brumbies-sized boulder on the weekend. That could be the last stop on the Kings’ last ride. Which is a shame, really. I was just starting to warm to this team.

11. Jaguares (down 1)

The Jags take a drop on bye-week and now sit 14 points adrift of the Sharks in the African wildcard battle. Things don’t look good for this team in the run home but they do have the Brumbies this weekend in what should be a stylistic mismatch. The Jags are the biggest offloaders in the competition, the Brumbies offload the least. The Jags make the most carries per game, the Brumbies the second fewest. The Jags concede the most penalties per game, the Brumbies the fewest. My money’s on the home side.

12. Brumbies (up 1)

I realise this seems ridiculous given they are below the team they defeated on the weekend, but I don’t care. I will reconsider the Brumbies position in power rankings if they can fly halfway around the world and beat the rested Jaguares this weekend. The problem for the Brumbies is they do not have a home game remaining in the regular season. And they are rather shite away from Canberra.

13. Reds (up 4)

Seriously, this is probably the most ridiculous elevation in power rankings history. The Reds didn’t even play last week. The other teams have left me no choice.

14. Sunwolves (up 2)

Have all the defensive integrity of a pin-pricked condom. But still play entertaining footy.

15. Bulls (N/C)

If Nollis Marais keeps his job I will be amazed. It’s not that he’s a bad coach, it’s just that his team is not ready to play the way he wants them to play.

16. Cheetahs (down 4)

I have nothing.

17. Rebels (up 2)

Still nothing to show for their efforts, but they showed they can compete against the Tahs last weekend, which will please their fans. Amanaki Mafi is a player they can build around, if they get that chance.

18. Force (down 3)

Slapped like a red-headed step child by the Highlanders.