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The good and the bad: Reflecting on yet another Red Roses procession

LONDON, ENGLAND - APRIL 20: England's Hannah Botterman in action during the Guinness Women's Six Nations 2024 match between England and Ireland at Twickenham Stadium on April 20, 2024 in London, England.(Photo by Bob Bradford - CameraSport via Getty Images)

Allow me a few paragraphs of grumble, please: I promise we’ll end on a high.

I put my microphone down at just gone four o’clock on Saturday after a really fun couple of hours watching one of the most impressive attacking performances I’ve ever seen.

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England were actually so lethal – so opportunistic and electric – that commentating on them became quite a logistical challenge: every time I wanted to discuss a wider point, or right as I asked Kat Merchant a question, a Red Rose would conjure up the latest moment of sorcery, and there’d be a try to call. It was relentless – they were relentless – which we can only applaud.

That’s when covering the world number ones gets less fun, because people ask you how work was, and there are gasps, winces, and – worst of all – amusement when you tell them the result. 88 – 10 is a terrible look for the game – a cricket score – and it does precisely nothing to entice new fans.

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      Ireland weren’t bad, but they were nowhere near, and – although they fought tooth and claw until their legs were lead and their lungs screamed for oxygen – there was never, for even a second, the sense that they would bruise a single petal on the immaculate Red Rose.

      Dannah O’Brien’s territorial management got them much better field position than their possession stats or scoring prowess would suggest, and their ball speed remained exemplary – out-shooting the world’s very best in a fast-draw duel – but that’s pretty much it. Not a single line break. As many line-outs won as lost. Missing 63 tackles – over a quarter of those attempted.

      Their opponents were irresistible: out-dazzling Sophie Ellis-Bextor’s glitter ball attire with punch and panache, and playing before an ebullient crowd on a day which only confirmed the thrilling trajectory of this product – but that came at a cost: I’ve experienced a greater sense of jeopardy watching Disney movies for the second time.

      On Sunday – it got worse. Wales nil – France 40: a final score which shone a stark light on the progress of this Welsh team – and illuminated all the holes in the WRU’s sticking plaster of professionalism.
      The women in red were swimming in possession and territory, but desperately lacking in direction and potency, as Les Bleues scored in sevens.

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      Ioan Cunningham was often shown on the coverage, watching on with a packet of Tangfastics on his desk. The confectionary choice felt horribly apt, as his charges fizzed for phase after phase after phase, but lacked any sort of clinical edge, and things ultimately turned sour.

      At full-time – by which point the home side had been caught walking as France scored off a quickly-taken line out, been marched back for dissent, and floated countless loose passes onto the Cardiff turf – the sweets were gone, and he stood at the back of the coaches’ box – staring implacably at his laptop. In 2022, Wales were hurled the lifebuoy of contracts, but it looks increasingly as though there was no rope attached.

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      Anyone who reads this column regularly will know that I love the women’s game and its Six Nations – the teams are wonderful, and the event is improving each and every year – but the tournament is fundamentally flawed, and that fabled ‘gap’ is only yawning larger.

      The Red Roses shouldn’t be putting 88 points on teams, and round four’s average scoreline of 48 – 7 simply doesn’t work. We don’t have time to get into it properly here, but this Lions tour has been rushed into existence without enough thought, and – based on this weekend’s evidence – it’s going to be a trip to New Zealand for England plus a few extremely talented cameos, whilst French athletes who deserve involvement watch on with twiddled thumbs.

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      Some thoughts.

      I wanted to end with the positives from Twickenham, because it was a privilege watching England’s Cowgirls and enforcers respectively yeehaw and thunder their way to such a triumph.

      The numbers. The Roses carried for 1,549 metres, gaining over a kilometre. They beat 63 defenders, whilst making 25 offloads, and executing six devastating first-phase line breaks.

      They’re so confident in their pace, chemistry, and ability that two thirds of their exits were ball-in-hand. Once they reached the 22, it was – more often than not – game over. 19 visits: 14 tries.

      The pack. Hannah Botterman is a contender for Player of the Championship. Sadiya Kabeya’s athleticism is frightening, and her involvements have gone through the roof. Zoe Aldcroft made 129 metres on Saturday – 129! – including a gallop so majestic it deserves Hans Zimmer scoring.

      Alex Matthews simply does what she wants at points: unstoppably classy and classily unstoppable. If Connie Powell bangs any harder on John Mitchell’s office door for a starting spot, she’ll take it off its hinges. Morwenna Talling, just returned from injury, found out she was starting minutes before kick-off, and drummed up five dominant tackles.

      The backline. Mitchell’s favourite expression is that he wants sufficient cohesion to ‘take the handbrake off’ in attack. Under Lou Meadows, they seem to have removed that mechanism altogether. Oh, to be Holly Aitchison, and know that – at any given moment – there are world-class operators to your left and right.

      To receive the ball swiftly and on the front foot (chapeau, aforementioned forwards and Mo Hunt), to have the razor-sharp strategist’s brain to instantly select your most lethal option, and then to have all the whips, tips, jinks, stabs, fixes, and floats to set bodies in motion.

      Tatyana Heard spoke last week about the ‘flair and vision’ of the ‘electric’ Meg Jones, and their combined midfield magnetism is starting to really wreak havoc. Abby Dow’s subtly layered world-class details and brute strength onto her ever-present pace, Jess Breach has been given the licence to go hunting she so desperately longed for under Simon Middleton, and Ellie Kildunne… there’s nothing which hasn’t already been said about this scything, scoring megastar.

      It was consummate and compelling: the best team in the world playing rugby which was as easy on the eye as it was unbearable for their opponents. A penny for the thoughts of New Zealand Rugby, who whipped a Wayne Smith-sized rabbit out of the hat in 2022. If they’re to break English hearts again next Autumn, they’ll need to rootle around and pull out a sabre-toothed tiger of a trump card: the hosts are just getting better and better…

      Next up for the Grand Slam defenders? Saturday’s headline fight at the Stade Chaban-DelCrunch.
      France were far from perfect in Cardiff – they forced things unnecessarily in attack, their line out was as effective as a chocolate kettle, and the way they flew up to snatch intercepts and force errors from the Welsh would be desperately risky against England – but there was plenty to get excited about, as the eyes of the rugby world turn to Bordeaux.

      The first two games of the day are equally unmissable – it’s last chance at Saloon Principality, and Scotland’s trip to Belfast will be a colossal clash – but that late kick-off will be nothing short of enthralling. How will John Mitchell’s Red Roses cope under real pressure for the first time? At last – at long last – we’re about to find out.

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      Comments

      6 Comments
      C
      CN 448 days ago

      A long held question in popular culture asks if art imitates life or does the latter influence the former? Over this 6 nations I can ask the same question of the media influencing the thoughts of its audience or vice versa. Nobody wants to see cricket scores in rugby, as a spectacle it is not sustainable. With so many articles about England’s procession and lack of competition it feeds the epicaricacy of many looking for an opportunity to pounce. England are not the first team to dominate nor does it happen only in rugby, think Federer, Nadal, Red Bull or Mercedes, Manchester Utd, Australia in tests and World Cups. Instead of celebrating the achievements why find reasons to falsify it pointing towards larger playing pool, professional for a longer period or mitigate with the lack of growth in other nations. Can we not enjoy it while it is here and know that it won’t last for ever, others coveting what England have will soon take the crown, ask the aforementioned?

      B
      BC 448 days ago

      Courtney, I agree we should enjoy it whilst it lasts. France U20 beat England U20 by 70 odd points last Friday. Should that contest be discontinued? What effect might that have on the balance of power over the next few years?

      S
      SP 448 days ago

      Well where do you start, the fact that England have a professional domestic league and Ireland’s is fully amatuer, that they have fully seperated professional squads at Fifteens and Sevens (7’s thinly disguised as GB), and Ireland have fully pro Sevens squad who loan some players back to the Semi-Professional Fifteens squad (moved from amateur for only a year or so) for a few games at 6N & RWC’s. The Women’s games is a shambles, and is at risk of killing itself by pushing for professionalism when the market isn’t really there to support it outside one or two countnries..

      B
      BC 448 days ago

      I will start with saying that the PWR is mainly amateur. There are a number of internationals involved who are mostly professional paid by their countries but there is a strict cap on how much in total each club can pay. The GB 7s have more Celtic players than English. The women’s game is in rude health, it is nitpicking to complain that England are so much better. From the 15 matches this year only 4 of England’s and 2 of France’s were not competitive.

      It is professionalism that is driving the standards up. The fans love it as I saw at Twickenham on Saturday and will turn up time after time to see their heroines. Red Rose dominance will not last forever, perhaps not even past Saturday. The other nations need time. It took over 30 years for France to win the men’s 5N after they were first admitted and Italy are only just starting to produce some consistency.

      k
      kent 448 days ago

      Wayne Smith's input didn't have as much impact on the last final as Davison's red card for Thompson. England were 14 points up and flying when that happened.

      B
      BC 448 days ago

      He was also not responsible for Drouin missing that last minute penalty that fortunately for NZ meant they got to the final.

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      P
      PM 13 minutes ago
      Why Henry Pollock's x-factor could earn him a Lions Test start

      I have been following Lions tours for the last 30 odd years and I can’t remember one feeling as flat as this one, so your damp squib comment is a fair one.


      I think there are a few reasons for this;


      1) The opposition isn’t that strong this tour and hasn’t generated the normal excitement and uncertainty for the tests, most people are expecting 0-3 (which has never happened in living memory before).


      2) The growing discontent within the fan base at the number of “outside BIL “ born players in the squad is a growing issue. The import issue has reached saturation point with some fans and is a bit negative element to this tour (will improve as nation switching becomes harder).


      3) The rugby so far hasn’t been great and the tactics to date are not very exciting. People expected more from Andy Farrell and his Lions team.


      4) Lions management have scored some own goals with the selection and subsequent call ups. It should have been the best 44 players from the start of the tour but the recent call ups have been underwhelming and damaged the Lions brand for some fans.


      5) This tour would have been better if they merged Australia with Argentina and the Lions played Fiji as a warm up game to give the Pacific Nations a better chance of exposure and glory to grow the game. This is the sort of innovative thinking they need to bring out the magic of the Lions brand and create an exciting experience for all.


      What’s become clear is the next tour needs to be an exciting one before people forget how magical a Lions tour can feel and the Lions brand is damaged to the point of questioning why it continues. The writing is on the wall, so lets hope the Lions see it and correct some of the above by the next tour.

      102 Go to comments
      P
      PM 1 hour ago
      Why Henry Pollock's x-factor could earn him a Lions Test start

      Nick,

      I am a long suffering England fan, who has had to endure watching 4 years of dull rugby, poor selections and painful defeats. Steve Borthwick talks about GPS and picks squads by numbers and then we put in a poor performance on the pitch - it’s been a consistent trend.


      Something changed in the Six Nations and we totally changed our style (literally overnight) and played some really good footie, which finally felt like positive rugby for a change.


      Genge has regained his pore-Covid form and is looking back to his best and is head and shoulders above Porter.


      Chessum has had a good year and hasn’t played a poor International game this season.


      Tom Curry was outstanding in the 6 Nations but they have been playing him at 6, wheras he is better at 7 and is lethal at the breakdown.


      Tom Willis was brought into the starting team at 8 and has been one of the best England players over the last year, who should have been on this Lions tour at 8. Earl had his best game since 2020 last week - not sure 1 game warrants Lions selection over a poor combination side and he is certainly second choice for his club 7 country behind Willis.


      Pollock will be a good player but like all young emerging players, he is inconsistent and can go quiet in games, which is why Curry should be the starter at 7. He brings energy to games, which is why he is good from the bench but there is an argument to say he is the 5th best England openside (Curry x2, Underhill & Earl are currently better) but will improve over the next 5 years. We just need to stop the media building him up for a fall, let him play and develop and you will see a sensational Henry Pollock for the Lions in 4 years time.


      Lions will be too powerful over 80 mins, so doesn’t really matter who they pick. Just please don’t put too much hype on Pollock. His 20 mins of International rugby going into this tour were positive but the media caused a frenzy and no other player would be selected on this basis.


      Let’s enjoy the rugby and give Pollock the space and time he requires.

      102 Go to comments
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