The outlandish plan to finish the Premiership season is revealed
Premiership Rugby has today announced a drastic plan to ensure that the remainder of the 2019/20 season can be completed.
All professional rugby has been halted as the world goes into lockdown as the COVID-19 virus spreads around the globe, but Premiership Rugby is committed to ensuring that we will see a champion crowned this season.
Premiership Rugby has devised a detailed plan to play out the remainder of the season on the Shetland Islands, where every team will be quarantined for three months while games play out.
"Premiership Rugby has announced today that the remainder of the season will take place on the Shetland Islands," an official statement read.
"Teams and supporting staff will be transported to the Islands at the earliest convenience, to give players and coaches a few more days with their families for the time being."
"This is going to have a full Survivor slash Hunger Games-type vibe to it. It will be a challenging time but being able to play rugby again will hopefully make it easier.
The plan is to move all teams onto the Islands into accommodation where they will self-isolate for two weeks before undergoing testing for the virus. Families are unlikely to get the go-ahead to join them on the island.
Once players are declared virus-free on the safety of the island, Premiership games will resume behind closed doors but will be broadcasted for fans' enjoyment back home.
"We are looking at Airbnb options right now," said one team official who wished not to be named.
"Love Island eat your heart out."
The games will be played at Gilbertson Park in Lerwick, with spectator capacity not an issue due to social distancing requirements in place for residents.
UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson is expected to officially open the games via Zoom teleconference once the self-isolating period for the teams is over.
The Shetland Islands Council is expected to earn a significant fee for hosting the Premiership and is excited to welcome the teams to the far North.
"This could be a gamechanger for us," one official said.
"Premiership Rugby is just the first code that will be looking for safe, secure islands to play their game. We have more than one island here," he explained.
More to come.
This is clearly a parody article and not to be taken seriously, Happy April Fools Day!
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Honestly, I am a bit lost here …. Ireland - RSA was (at least in my opinion) perhaps (from a purely technical / rugby-skills-show point of view) the pinnacle of the RWC2023 - almost flawless playing (putting aside the kicking of RSA which was the difference between the two teams), rugby at it’s very best …. if I were a Bok and after the game some Irish lads came around saying “see you in 5 weeks same place”, I definitely wouldn’t have thought of it as being in any way “arrogant”, rather a sort of jolly “if we both continue to play like this, no one could stop us” - besides, few of us fans would have, at that time, been surprised to see the same teams playing on 23 september and 28 october 2023 ….. well, we all know Ireland chose to hit a slump to keep the QF curse alive …..
Go to commentsThere’s value gleaned from having an All Black star running and training with your team. How many games he starts (or even where he plays in the backline) will be decided on a week by week basis based on the needs for that week. But the overall learning and growth for all concerned, I’d think, is massively beneficial. Especially for Irish players.
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