Who Are These Guys That Beat Australia And What Have They Done With Depressing Old England?

Long-suffering England rugby fan Lee Calvert struggles to come to terms with his newfound sense of optimism in the wake of his side’s 39-28 walloping of the Wallabies in Brisbane.

For over a decade being an England rugby fan has been about as much fun as haemorrhoids and has often felt more painful. Every few years the latest cycle of poor management choices, baffling team selections and unfulfilled potential has been repeated ad nauseam until it rendered us fans a lump of barely concealed rage and misanthropy.

Then Eddie Jones was appointed, and there was hope once again. But as Morgan Freeman’s character in The Shawshank Redemption said: “Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane.”

The Grand Slam win in the 2016 Six Nations suggested that for once our hope was not misplaced, but that victory came with caveats: there were still issues with the style of play, the other nations were not having a vintage year (France in particular played like baffled parrots farting in a fog), the back row still looked one-dimensional and there was the nagging feeling that Jones had simply returned the team to playing the way they had under the early Lancaster regime – and we all know how that ended. In other words, the post-hope potential for insanity was still lurking.

This feeling lasted until roughly minute twenty at the Suncorp stadium. Australia were terrifying in their opening salvo, attacking at speed and ripping England’s new Paul “WolfPack” Gustard defence asunder, leaving England fans to simultaneously let out a “here we go again” groan and shake their fist at the sky, misery descending on them like a black blizzard. But, unlike the match in the group stages of the Rugby World Cup, Eddie Jones’ side didn’t implode or panic or start making daft decisions. Instead, they regrouped, then calmly set about stamping their gameplan all over the Wallabies’ dignity.

What makes the victory kindle new optimism, aside from the 39-28 scoreline away from home against World Cup finalists, is the way in which Jones orchestrated it both before the game and during it.

England’s biggest issue during the Six Nations, Jones’ first tournament in charge, was discipline – specifically technical discipline around the breakdown. This was much improved on Saturday, which means that Eddie and his team identified this and worked ruthlessly to iron the problem out. The proof of success showed in England forcing more penalties in this area upon the most threatening breakdown back row on earth.

During the game, Luther Burrell at 12 was not working either in attack or defence. Jones quickly yanked him off, pushed Owen Farrell to the centre and brought the creative George Ford into out-half, changing the pattern of the attack. This, along with the ferocious forward effort in the second half orchestrated one of England’s best victories.

Of course, sometimes coaches just get lucky and perhaps one game is not enough to conclude that this time it will be different for England and their fans. Yet this is Eddie Jones, and if it is luck then given his record he must get lucky an awful lot; too much to pass the test of reasonableness.

England fans approach the second test in Melbourne with hope still intact. Tim Robbins’ character in The Shawshank Redemption character put it another way: “Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things”. Eddie Jones has introduced us to it all over again.